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Super Bob's Top Ten Lists

Hola! Welcome to Super Bob's Top Ten Lists.


Bob's Top Ten List of Twisted Stuff to Do

10. Smash a guitar for no reason.
9. On your bathroom wall, write "Don't be naughty, don't be mean, keep your hands and facey clean!"
8. Take your sister/brother's favorite stuffed animal and stick it in a fan.
7. Those curtains on your window? Make 'em into a bathrobe.
6. Take all the cards out of your mom's Rolodex and rip 'em up.
5. E-mail someone who matches a "McDonalds" search and tell them all about Burger King.
4. Eat foaming candy, then jump off an escalator at the mall, faking a convulsion.
3. Buy a Hanson CD
2. Buy an Alanis Morrisette CD

AND THE NUMBER ONE ALL TIME TWISTED THING TO DO IS.....

1. Buy a Spice Girls CD!! *insert gagging noise here*


Bob's List of Ten Ways to Cause Panic in Public Restrooms

1. Scream, "I'm stuck!! I'm stuck!! Get the plunger!!" with appropriate sound effects.
2. Make a slurping sound and say, "Yum!! They finally put in spring water!!"
3. Wrap yourself in toilet paper and ask people coming in, "Would you like to play King Tut??"
4. Stand on the toilet, jump up and down, and scream about crazy ushers with tuxes on.
5. Stand in a stall, fake crying, and say, "Goodbye" then flush. Tell the people in the bathroom that the goldfish have now gone on to a better life.
6. Write dorky graffiti like "Wash your hands" and "Don't forget to flush!"
7. When a person is inside a stall, grab their pants and go, "You dirty rotton THIEF!!"
8. Dye the toilet water different colors with food coloring and then say, "Wow, colored soda works wonders!"
9. Walk out wearing a SuperMan outfit and explain, "Are you kidding!??! Change in a PHONE BOOTH!?! Those things have GLASS windows!!!"
10. Put some foaming candy in your mouth and scream, "Ohh!! The voices!! They're coming to get me!!!" and then go into fake convulsions on the floor. (note: this also works in the mall, except throw yourself off an escalator.)


Bob's List of Ten Ways to Cause Panic in an Elevator

1. Crack open your purse, briefcase, etc. and ask, "Are you getting enough air in there?"
2. Let saliva dribble out of the corner of your mouth. When people get on, smile really really big with wide eyes.
3. Introduce yourself to everyone in the elevator. As Bozo's friend Chumpie.
4. In a crowded elevator, right after the door closes, lunge for the button, slapping every hand that gets in your way.
5. Make small animal noises and then look at the person next to you as if you're blaming them.
6. Start doing the YMCA dance. Invite people to join in.
7. Bring a small table. When people get on, pull out a tablecloth, bowl, spoon, milk, cereal, or whatever. Proceed to eat.
8. Pass around candy cigarretes to those people who smell like smoke.
9. Give out business cards of people long dead. i.e. Annie Oakley, or John Lennon
10. Announce loudly "OH! I forgot deoderant!"